Today’s Tomorrow
Posted by: mzkarma on: May 27, 2010
Today I thought,
When our dreams and fantasies live beyond our imagination and desire to attain them what is left?
Today I made some plans, worked, budgeted my finances and dreamed a little more. What is next after China? Thailand, Israel, Africa? The possibilities are endless and I just want to get on a plane and start now! February is starting to feel like too long, but I can honestly say its a reasonable time frame when responsibilities are taken into consideration. It feels like butterflies in my stomach, a constant euphoric state.
I wonder if this bubble will pop or if I’ll get there and decide I miss home? Realistically, its doubtful that I will want to come back, but certainly something I have considered as I am not entirely oblivious to other possibilities and outcomes.
But truly, has anyone ever asked them self the question expressed in the beginning? If so what was your answer? There are so many great answers in psychology and perception, I am just curious.
Enlightenment
Posted by: mzkarma on: May 24, 2010
Is this the End?
I think the answer to that question is yes, at least life as I know it. My life is anything but exciting right now, I work full time as well as go to school and I have my apartment. I’m two courses away from my Associate’s degree and plan to pursue my Masters. I have asked myself, what am I still doing here? Why haven’t I done more with myself than live beneath my dreams and desires? And I think, I started to become okay with an existence that I’ve always felt wasn’t my own, a life of security and moments without passion and what can I say, I’m tired. I realize these thoughts that have plagued my mind were a calling to do more, to live fearlessly and adventurously.
I’ve always known I was meant to do much more than this…
Be, much more than I am, but life isn’t over yet and I’ve had an awakening!
I have long dreamed of being more than just a dreamer. Sitting in my apartment watching the Travel Channel or A&E wishing it were me on television seeing the world with an open heart and embracing the moment. I am just a 26 year old girl from Yonkers, New York that found adventure in moving to Arizona by herself. Now, I feel like my adventures have just begun as I have decided that my dreams are worth living. In less than a year I will be making the move from Arizona to Beijing, China. I have never been out of the country before and have no idea what faces me but for some reason I am without fear, and full of anticipation. The joy and utter content that I feel are more fulfilling than anything I have experienced before. I’ve decided to start this and track my path to a beautiful adventure as I am ready to be more than ordinary.
Some say I’m crazy, irrational, or why China. I say that I want to live, love, and laugh in the deepest of meanings. I want to see the world one person at a time and where better to start than one of the oldest and most culturally rich nations in this world? But my path doesn’t end there, it has only just begun. Where I will go after that only my future knows but I’m certain I’m not coming back to America for a while. The only thing I find myself asking is why didn’t I decide to do this earlier? There’s so much to see and do in such a short amount of time. I want to love and have marriage and children someday but for now I’m on a mission to live my dreams.
Here I am, not afraid to see the world and so ready for my freedom! There is so much that I need to do to prepare for this venture and I plan to post my progress and experiences through my travels here. My diary of a beautiful adventure. Feels like I’m growing!
I wonder what you are all thinking as I express my heart. Shall I keep writing? Is anyone reading?
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